Repressive policy: no compromise allowed with the imperious self

The process of self-perfection, for Ostad Elahi, consists mainly in practising ethics. If I wish to perfect myself, I must see to it that the way I behave and whatever I do, say, or even think, be ethical. That sounds gigantic; it is, however, what we should be heading for. After all, perfecting oneself means nothing other than striving to achieve such a high goal.

Having actually started practising, very soon we come to realise that ethical work involves, in the first place, battling against oneself. To work means to make efforts. When we talk about making efforts to be ethical, we cannot go on living with our acquired educational habits and natural disposition, we must seek to change what we are, with a view to self-improvement.

So, ethical work, to begin with, consists in pushing back or restraining the impulses emanating from what Ostad Elahi calls the imperious self. It means, for instance, holding back the piece of slander or disparaging comment that comes to my mind about someone I have been wronged by; or holding in check the side glance I’d like to cast at someone else’s mail, the indiscreet question surging upon my lips, or the piece of gossip I’d like to spread in order to attract attention, or to swallow my pride and accept genuinely a justified criticism, and so on.

But ethical work is not confined to holding back from doing wrong; it also calls for doing good whenever we can : helping others materially, psychologically and even spiritually; being positive, courageous, active and useful in our social life, feeling grateful for what we have been given etc., and here again, since it is all about ethical work and going beyond what we are spontaneously inclined to do, we are faced with a new kind of constraint, a reversed repression of some sort: we must bolster our ethical awareness and counter the native sluggishness of our disposition that neutralises most of our positive energy and keeps us from doing what we ought to do: compel ourselves to help others out of a sense of duty, even if we don’t feel like it; assert our rights instead of renouncing them through weakness or cowardice; force ourselves to act and find solutions, even though we feel despondent; stop mulling over black thoughts in our mind, etc.

Anyhow, in those moments when our worst self imperiously asserts itself, making us feel either aggressive or despondent, we should in no way try to argue or reason with it, since the slightest onset of negotiation would prove fatal. Through sheer willpower, we must hold on and concentrate our strength on barring the way to the imperious self, which must be muted, disabled and compelled to retreat, even if we have to do it ruthlessly.

Strategic reflection: a successful complement to repression

At the highest moments of conflict with our imperious self, a repressive attitude is undoubtedly needed, but it is far from being sufficient, or even fully effective, since no matter how hard we try, the impulse will come back, either in the same form or in some other guise. For instance, under the influence of the moral education I have received, I may restrain myself from speaking, or even thinking negatively of a person whom I dislike and whose behaviour jars on me. But repressing a negative feeling is one thing and to get rid of it is quite another. If the same person happens, one day, to behave more jarringly than usual, it would be a safe bet to predict that all the accumulated, pent-up negative feelings will burst out with aggravated intensity. Another example: through sheer willpower, one can force oneself to say positive things always, and never give voice to any complaint. But if one leaves it at that, the imperious self will eventually find another way to assert itself, making you feel depressed, for instance, or discouraged, or crushed by a sense of universal injustice, or conversely, turning you into a fanatic, counting yourself superior to anyone who puts out negative statements. When we work on ourselves, we should not take at their face value the outbursts of the imperious self, but we should regard them as so many signs of some inner malfunctioning that needs to be set right. Constantly complaining and being pessimistic, for example, could be symptoms of a deeper disorder not readily detectable : it may conceal a tendency to entertain unfounded expectations from others, or too high an opinion of one’s merits. Here are some more examples that will help to clear up the point under discussion:

• I feel like saying nasty things about a particular person; I know it is unethical, so I hold back and successfully repress that negative urge. I then analyze my reaction and, looking for the causes of the impulse, I realise that I have been driven by the desire to reciprocate the sarcastic remarks that person had taunted me with, while I stood silent. At the time, I thought I had been able to bear his sarcasm with great equanimity and I felt I really was above it all. The truth is that I had been injured, but too weak and timorous to answer back, so I occulted the injury and pushed it out of my mind. The realization of this “truth” helped me discover a trait in my character I was not aware of. Now that I have acknowledged this, I can make up for it and eventually improve myself. Whenever I repress the desire to say nasty things about that person, I do it in full consciousness of the situation. I imagine the indignity of holding a grudge against someone and act revengefully afterwards, behind his back, and that helps me to hold back my impulse. Besides, I am working on trying to eliminate the cause of my problem: a lack of self-confidence.
• I have decided to improve my relationship with my husband, and particularly to stop constantly criticizing him, a fact which in the long run, has introduced a negative element in our conjugal life. After a while, I found myself in an unbearable predicament: I did refrain from voicing any objection, but it didn’t reduce the instances open to criticism and I kept noticing them. So much so that I came to develop a kind of resentment towards my husband, and that, obviously, did not make him change his behaviour, whereas on my side, I was making superhuman efforts to avoid being unpleasant. The solution dawned on me the day I asked myself the right question: how is it that I have this permanent urge to criticise my husband? I realised, then, that in relation to him, I have always had a sense of superiority which made me blind to my own shortcomings. From then on, when I repress the desire to criticise him, I do it with full awareness. I go over the list of my own lapses in my mind – you, who never do this or that yourself, what right do you have to expect such and such effort from him? – that helps me contain myself. I also take pains to eradicate the root of my problem – a native feeling of superiority – and develop the qualities of forbearance and forgiveness.

It is clear, however, that repressing our impulses does not consist in driving them back automatically; rather, they should be neutralised, as in chemistry, when the effect of a substance is counteracted by another substance that modifies its molecular qualities. From such pragmatic struggling, several positive results are to be expected:

• Our contending with the imperious self is more forceful when we don’t go against it blindly, using sheer repression; we know why we are doing it and to what purpose, and that gives us great strength.
• We are immune from the damaging side-effects of pure repression such as frustration, depression, etc.
• It provides us with a new outlook on the various manifestations of the imperious self, which are actually useful symptoms, helping our progress towards self-knowledge. Far from being disabled by feelings of shame and guilt, we may even feel elated when we come to discover, at the root of our irrational urges, some unexpected traits of character that would, otherwise, have remained hidden.
• The field of our consciousness is further extended, allowing us to perceive actually the dynamic link between ethical practice and self-knowledge.
• Although it remains a continuous struggle, the struggle is not centered on the destruction of an inner enemy, but on the building up of a more healthy, mature and solid self.

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