This is the second – in vivo – stage of practical work introduced in December (see An antidote to anger (1): analysis): going deeper into what triggers anger, reframing our relations to others as central to our practice and making kindness the active ingredient in the struggle against anger. Literature review: I started reading up about anger in books on child psychology. I was initially looking for passages on parental anger, but what I mostly found in the end were studies on anger in children, and they helped me understand a lot.

The kind of anger we are dealing with here is not the “fashionable fault” that goes under that name when sudden changes of mood are perceived as the mark of an impetuous character or an explosive temper. It is a tendency that, in the long run, may eat your life away and ruin the atmosphere of your home. When it is not expressed outwardly, anger is often combined with a state of depression and dark thoughts. You may stifle it and endure it for a while, but with accumulated fatigue, you will inevitably vent it on others sometimes triggering uncontrollable effects. So how can we break the vicious circle?

An earlier post on the question of anger has allowed us, on the basis of a short scenario, to reflect on the situations that can trigger anger, on what its root causes are, and on whether it is legitimate to give vent to our anger in any judicious or rational way, when we risk letting it run free. The purpose of this second post is to discuss the effects of anger, both on the subject and on those around him or her.

From mere annoyance to exasperation or fury, anger can express itself in many ways, and in all kinds of situations. Identifying anger within ourselves is generally an easy task, even though it sometimes takes subtle forms that can cloud our judgment. On the other hand, whatever form it takes, controlling it is always a different story. It is rather safe to state that this issue concerns, in one form or another, every one of us. We will thus dedicate several posts to examining it. This first one will allow us, on the basis of a scenario and a few questions, to start reflecting and to share our thoughts, experiences, suggestions, ideas and interrogations.